he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize