i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
