Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
