My balls are so social today.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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