I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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