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• (313): View more from Michigan

  4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.

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• (855): View more from

  somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs

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• (661): View more from California

  What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife

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• (607): View more from New York

  I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I want your cock.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.

  (1+61): View more from

  Dude, you're not even gay.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave

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