How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.