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thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
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