Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs
  Replies (12) Good night (1212) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight. http://tfl.nu/07n7
  Replies (27) Good night (5170) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am. http://tfl.nu/ubv2
  Replies (38) Good night (4686) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ? http://tfl.nu/0iqw
  Replies (11) Good night (4046) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6jkk
  Replies (10) Good night (4271) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up http://tfl.nu/r4jy
  Replies (6) Good night (2523) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class (1-203): why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday. http://tfl.nu/0z2t
  Replies (4) Good night (3627) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): 130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/aorw
  Replies (3) Good night (2183) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar http://tfl.nu/m9rj
  Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n http://tfl.nu/cubl
  Replies (4) Good night (1712) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not seeing this movie with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): VAGINAS ASSEMBLE! (580): I'm not seeing this movie with you. http://tfl.nu/6pon
  Replies (9) Good night (1530) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again. http://tfl.nu/4a7s
  Replies (7) Good night (391) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public http://tfl.nu/nrsv
  Replies (5) Good night (590) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening http://tfl.nu/obf8
  Replies (4) Good night (296) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES. http://tfl.nu/6ntk
  Replies (3) Good night (1053) Bad night (202)

Randomize