dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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