they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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