Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
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Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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