we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
