On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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