I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
