if you like me you must not know who I am
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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