meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize