I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
