Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's never too late to be topless.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize