I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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