Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
