ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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