I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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