I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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