She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
