How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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