**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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