I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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