guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
