That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize