There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
