Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize