go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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