Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its not stalking. its research.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
