dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
