You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize