i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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