I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.