she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now