her vagina looked like bernie madoff
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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