His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
