I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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