this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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