Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
