I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
