I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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