I puked a lego.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm passing your future prison.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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