When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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