i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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