I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
