nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
