nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
