If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
