I wish my penis had an off switch
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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