normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
