dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
