but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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