She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
