Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize