I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize