his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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