I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
