what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
