I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i will never coherently bang her
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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