do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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