That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I would fuck him just for his dog
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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